Fanfiction: Beatrice

“Let’s go on a holiday,” said Ponytail to Beardy, who was practicing shuffling cards. Beardy dropped the pack and swore.
“Were to?” he asked grumpily. “We don’t need a holiday, we don’t do anything anyway.”
“Well, I thought we could go somewhere warm,” said Ponytail. “Like Australia.”
Beardy choked. “But…Erin’s in Australia!” he gasped.
“Yeah,” said Ponytail casually. “I’m sure she’d be happy to meet you. You could talk about stuff she likes. Cheese, yellow clothes, voles. You know.”
Beardy began to tremble. “You wouldn’t!”
Ponytail grinned evilly. “Oh, I would,” he said, and leapt to his feet. Beardy screamed and tried to jump out the window, but Ponytail was too quick for him. He jammed a sack over Beardy’s head, tied him up with string and shipped him, economy class, to Australia.
“Finally,” he said, dusting his hands. “Now I have the choc-chip ice cream all to myself.”