Fanfiction: Elle

It was a happy, sunny day when Beardy was struck by the urge to visit Ponytail. He jumped on his electrical push-bike and tootled off down the road. Ten minutes later, he was banging on the Ponytail’s front door. After a few moments, he heard shuffling footsteps and Ponytail, dressed in a very fetching quilted dressing gown, flung the door open.
“Whaddayawant?” he asked, squinting at Beardy and rubbing his eyes.
“A visit!” said Beardy brightly.
Just at that moment, a blonde, busty midget wearing a pink silk robe appeared behind Ponytail and trotted away down the path. She looked back and waved to Ponytail, and called, “I want my money by Wednesday!”
Beardy looked at Ponytail. “Who the hell was that?” he asked.
“The electrician,” muttered Ponytail.
“Why was she here when you were asleep?” asked Beardy suspiciously.

“And what sort of electrician wears a bright pink dressing gown?”
“A midget one,” snapped Ponytail. “Are you coming in or not?”
Beardy stepped in the door and looked up at the ceiling. Sure enough, there was a light fitting hanging loose and an extra-tall step ladder beneath it.
“Bulb blew,” Ponytail explained.
Beardy stared. “Couldn’t you have changed it yourself?”
Ponytail ignored him. “Do you like olives?” he asked.
“Yes,” replied Beardy.
“Good. Go down the shop and get me some.”
“But what about native title?” cried Beardy. “The aboriginal people have dwelt in Australia for forty thousand years. Surely the traditional owners of the land…”
Ponytail looked scathingly at him. “We’re Lithuanian, fool. We don’t care about internal Australian politics.”
“Oh yeah,” said Beardy.
“Now go down the shop or I won’t take you to the park tomorrow.”