Fanfiction: Hepzibah

One day, Beardy and ponytail were walking down a sinister alleyway. Suddenly, a homeless man appeared in front of them.
“Got any spare cash?” he asked Beardy.
“Yeah. Here,” said Beardy, passing him a couple of coins. Ponytail dug in his pockets for some money.
“Take this, too,” he said, holding out a handful of change. The hobo’s eyes widened in shock
“Put it away!” he screamed, “I don’t want your ill-gotten capitalist profits, you imperialist pig!”
“But I’m the one with the unconventional hair,” said Ponytail, somewhat confused. “he looks more like a capitalist than I do.”
“It’s a clever disguise!” the hobo yelled. “It makes you even more dangerous!” with that, he turned and ran crying back down the alley.
“Cut your hair, you hippy” growled Beardy.
“Shave your beard off, Hans Gruber,” Ponytail muttered moodily.